


Fear

by SadieandJack



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27526603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieandJack/pseuds/SadieandJack
Summary: Sara can't let go of the fear that she could lose Grissom.
Relationships: Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle





	Fear

I looked at Grissom sitting on the couch near me his head back snoring gently with his feet up on the coffee table. I smiled looking at him knowing how tired he was since the last few days were challenging with cases. I got up turning off the TV getting a blanket to put over him. Gently I laid it against him only to have him wake looking at me.

"Sorry, I was trying to put this over you." I said, quietly.

"Thank you." He said, yawning.

"You should go to bed."

"Good idea." He said, taking the blanket off him as he stood up. I smiled looking at him watching him rub his face sighing then he looked at me.

"What?"

"Your cute that's all."

He smiled tiredly pulling me closer kissing my lips. He moved away searching my face.

"So are you coming to bed?"

"Yes."

He took my hand leading me away.

I walked down the hallway with a smile on my face on the next shift. Having Grissom to myself was a surprise every day. He seemed to feel the same way judging from the way he woke staring at me touching me to see if I were real.

Hodges ran around the corner with papers in his arms looking flustered. He banged into me and the papers he held went everywhere.

"Where's the fire?!" I asked, helping him pick up the papers.

"I have to give these to the boss before six!" He said, yanking the papers out of my hands.

I watched him run past then I went back to walking to the break room. Nick ate an apple seeing me come in.

"Well someone looks happy today." He said, smiling. "I take it Grissom satisfied you last night?"

I got my cup of coffee walking over hitting him on the head.

"No!" I said, watching him shake his head eating.

"Something has you smiling."

"Nicky, for the first time in my life I am content and happy. Don't analyze, just accept it." I said, sitting down.

Grissom came in seeing us on the couch. He looked at his watch as he got some coffee.

"Nick, I need you to back up Warrick at the Mirage."

"Okay." He said, standing giving me a high five then leaving.

Grissom walked over looking at me.

"Did you finish with your case?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, you can help me with paperwork then."

"Grissom, don't you have something for me to do?" I asked, standing.

"You don't want to be with me?" He asked, as we walked out together.

"It's not that, I just thought something would come up."

"Sara, you know what happens. We have busy times then slow times." He said, walking to his door opening it. "Now get in there."

I sighed walking in slowly as he followed. I whistled loudly a few minutes later as he passed me a paper to stamp then put on a pile. He looked at me as I stopped smiling at him. He went back to his work hearing me whistle again.

"Sara, your whistling is becoming distracting."

"Sorry." I said

A knock at the door made us both look up.

"Come in." Grissom said

The door opened and we saw an attractive blonde haired woman in a black suit come in smiling at Grissom.

"Hello Gil." She said

"Chloe, I can't believe this!" He said, getting up smiling as he walked around the desk shaking her hand. "What are you doing here?"

"Visiting, I came from Washington D.C. for a conference and I knew that you still worked here so I came by to say hi." She said "You look great."

"You to." He said

I cleared my throat making them both see me for the first time.

"Oh, Chloe this is Sara one of my CSI's." He said

"Hello." She said, reaching over shaking my hand.

"Hello." I said, annoyed at Grissom as he forgot to mention I was his wife as well. I watched them chat then he closed the door as she left. He sat down beside me getting back to work all the while I stared at him.

He handed me a paper noticing my stare.

"You okay?" He asked

"Who is Chloe?"

"She and I met years ago. She is a lawyer now." He said

"Did you two…..date?"

"A little." He said "She broke it off to move to Washington."

"You forgot to mention that I was your wife."

"What?"

"You didn't mention I was your wife." I said

He looked at me as I looked down then at him.

"Sara, there is no need to be jealous."

"I am not jealous!" I said, watching his eyebrow rise. "Okay I am a little."

He touched my knee.

"Honey, you have nothing to worry about."

"Sorry." I said

He smiled then he returned to work. We were leaving to go home when his cell phone went off. I watched him answer it stopping at the curb.

"Hello." He said

I looked at him confused to who he was talking to. He smiled looking around.

"I could I suppose. Where are you staying at?"

I knew who it was. He looked at me seeing the frown on my face.

"Okay, I will meet you there."

"Chloe?" I asked

"She wants to have dinner." He said

"This might be the perfect time to tell her that you are married."

"Sara, I will when I see her. I think she will get the point when she sees you with me."

"Oh, I am going?"

"Of course you are." He said

We met her at a nice restaurant down the street from the hotel she was staying at. She wore a tight fitting black dress walking over to Grissom hugging him then she looked at me.

"Hello, Sara is it?" She asked

"Yes, Sara Grissom." I said

She looked from me to Grissom.

"Chloe, I should have told you that Sara is also my wife." Grissom said

Chloe looked at him in shock.

"Gil Grissom married. I can't believe it. I thought I was the only woman for you." She said

Grissom smiled as I stood watching.

"Well I need a drink." She said "Hungry, Sara?"

"Very." I said, letting her take my arm leading us to the doors to the restaurant. As we were eating Grissom chuckled as I laughed with her as she told stories.

"So Grissom comes in and here I am covered in spaghetti sauce. It is dripping to the floor and he just casually asked me how was my day?" She said, laughing again.

I ate some bread laughing looking over at Grissom as he shook his head eating.

"I was one minded then." He said

"More like absent minded." She said

"That to." He said

"So Sara, what's it like being married to Grissom?"

"Good, I don't have any complaints." I said

"She does complain about my snoring sometimes." Grissom said, looking at me.

"That's only because he lays his head close to my ear."

Chloe smiled at Grissom.

"You never used to snore."

I almost choked on my drink as Grissom looked at me then at Chloe.

"I used to not do a lot of things."

We said goodnight to her then went to our car getting in. I sighed looking over at Grissom.

"Chloe is an interesting person, and funny." I said

"Yes, I thought she was to." He said "Sara, come closer."

"Why?" I asked, looking at him confused. He motioned me over watching as I slowly slid over to him. Without a word he kissed me. I saw stars explode in my mind as his lips moved over mine. He moved back looking at me. I opened my eyes looking into his.

"I love you." He said

"Let's go home and I will show you how much I love you."

He smiled sitting back in the seat turning on the engine. Once we got home I led him into the bedroom showing him exactly what I said I would. He rubbed his head breathing fast as he laid beside me looking at the ceiling. I leaned up on my arms looking at him.

"Did you like that?" I asked, smiling.

"I…..enjoyed that." He said

I put my hand over his naked chest looking at him as he calmed down. His cell phone went off on the night stand beside him. I reached over looking at who it was.

"Brass." I said, handing him the phone.

"Grissom." He said, almost breathing normal.

I watched him sit up listening.

"What?"

I sat up looking at him. He stared ahead as Brass talked.

"Yes, I'll come right now." He said, before hanging up.

"What's wrong?" I asked

He looked down then he got up getting some clothes.

"There's been a robbery on the strip. A woman killed."

"Oh."

He looked at me sadly.

"It's Chloe."

I gasped watching him go to the bathroom. I got up walking to the bathroom seeing him leaning over the sink looking down.

"I'm sorry." I said

He nodded moving to get ready. We both jumped out of the car making our way to the scene in an alleyway near the hotel that Chloe was staying at. Brass looked at Grissom and I as we looked past the yellow tape at the woman lying on the ground dead.

"A single gunshot to the head." Brass said

Nick and Greg walked past them with their cases. I looked at Grissom who silently watched them with an expressionless face. We went home and Grissom sat on the couch looking at the coffee table. I walked over waiting for some sign he was all right.

"Coming to bed?" I asked

"No." He said

I slowly sat on the coffee table taking his hand.

"Chloe and I met ten years ago at a convention. She was this young intelligent woman. I got her interested in forensics." He said, sighing. "We didn't see each other for a year. After that we got together when our schedules would allow."

"She was special to you." I said

He looked at me sadly.

"You are special to me, Sara."

I smiled faintly at him. He pulled my hand to move over to him. I moved holding him against me.

I woke on the couch a few hours later smelling coffee hearing Grissom talking in the kitchen. Yawning, I walked over seeing him in his work clothes pouring coffee as he talked on the phone. He glanced over at me then went back to pouring. I walked over as he glanced at me pulling him closer kissing him. He moved back answering the person. I poured some coffee watching him move to the counter setting his cup down. He got off the phone as I walked over standing behind him setting my cup down as I eased my hands around his body to his stomach.

"Who was that?" I asked

"Brass, he told me they have some leads."

"Good, are you okay?"

"Yes." He said

I kissed his ear leaving him to take my coffee into the bedroom. Grissom watched me go then he dialed a number waiting for a response.

I dressed hearing him walk in. I put on a black tank top noticing he was coming over to me.

"Honey, I have to go."

"Wait for me."

"I can't."

I sighed walking over to him blocking his path as he almost reached the door.

"At least kiss me."

He gave me a look moving closer kissing me. I put my arms around his neck giving him a kiss he would never forget. He moved back as I smiled moving past him to finish getting ready. I turned and he was still standing there.

"I thought you had to go somewhere."

"Yes, I do." He said, leaving. I chuckled putting on a jacket.

I came to work seeing Nick walking over to me.

"Hey, how's Grissom?"

"He's fine." I said

"Want to help with the case?" He asked

"I don't know if I should." I said, looking around.

"We need help."

Nick looked at me pleading silently.

"Okay."

"Great, meet us at the morgue."

He walked away and I stood there thinking. Grissom walked into the locker room seeing me standing by my locker.

"You're here." He said

"Yeah."

"Good, because I need help."

"I am actually helping Nick and Greg."

"With what?" He asked, coming closer.

"They need help with the case."

"No, that is not happening." He said

"Grissom, I want to help."

"No." He said, shaking his head.

"Why not?" I asked, shutting my locker.

"You were to close to Chloe as I was. We cannot get involved." He said "I'll get someone else to help them."

"Then what do I do?"

"Help me." He said, before leaving.

Grissom had me come with him to a scene at a Quickie Mart. I walked into the store behind him looking at the things around me. A container of milk was spilt on the floor as well as other things and in the back I saw a victim's leg on the ground. I walked over looking at her clearly around the corner stretched out with a gunshot wound in her back. Blood pooled out around her. Grissom walked over seeing her.

"Do you want to start here?"

"Okay." I said

He left me to start as he went off to the front to talk to the clerk. I reached over touching the woman's wrist watch that started to beep. When I clicked it off a hand struck out grabbing mine. I screamed moving back trying to get my gun out. I saw a scared little girl laying in an isle nearby. I moved over quickly seeing she had an injury on her arm from a stray bullet.

"It's okay." I said, grabbing my phone. She shook watching me dial a number with my free hand. "Grissom, I found a little girl alive in here. Get the EMT's!"

I hung up setting my phone down as I held the little girls hand.

"I am Sara, what is your name?"

"Me…Megan." She said

"It's nice to meet you."

"Sara?" Grissom called

"Isle 2!" I yelled

"M….mommie." She said

I realized the woman lying dead was her mom. My heart sank for this little girl. Grissom came over with the paramedics. I stood as they talked to her. Grissom led me away quietly.

"You okay?"

I looked down seeing I was shaking.

"Yeah."

He hugged me trying to soothe the shaking going through my body. Grissom parked outside of our house deciding to drive me home. I stared outside as he looked at me. He touched my cheek with his fingertips making me jump looking at him.

"You're jumpy." He said

"What do you want?" I asked, annoyed.

"We are home." He said

I looked ahead seeing our house.

"Oh." I said, getting out. Grissom followed me up the stairs to the door. He set his things down pulling me against him.

"Sara, that little girl will be all right."

"She lost her mom."

"I know." He said "Her father called me earlier thanking us for being with her."

I looked at him then I laid my head on his shoulder.

"Just give me some time, Grissom."

He nodded kissing my head. I went to sleep after we ate dreaming about the Quickie Mart. Sitting up in bed I breathed in and out fast sweating. Grissom moved to his side stilling. I sighed getting out of bed walking out to the living room. Grissom moved hearing the alarm. He shut it off seeing I was gone.

"Sara?" He called, coming out of the bedroom seeing me looking exhausted working on my laptop at the desk. "Hey."

I looked at him as he leaned down kissing my head.

"You okay?" He asked, rubbing my back.

"Yeah."

He looked at the screen then at me.

"What are you doing?"

"Working on bills." I said

"I see." He said, walking past. I sighed looking at the screen with blurry eyes. He came back after turning on the coffee maker. "So how long have you been up?"

"I don't know." I said

"Nightmares?"

"Yes."

He nodded looking at the screen again.

"I'll be fine." I said

"Okay."

We went to work which was hard since I did not sleep very well. Grissom walked into the lab that Nick and Greg were in working Chloe's case.

"How's it going?" He asked

"We had a print, but it was inconclusive." Greg said

"Keep trying." Grissom said, leaving.

"Grissom!" Nick called, coming out to the hall.

"Yes?"

"I saw Sara a few minutes ago. She seemed upset."

Grissom looked at him concerned before looking around.

"Where did she go?"

"I think to the locker room."

"Okay."

Nick watched him leave searching for me. I walked out of the locker room bumping into Grissom.

"Sara, are you all right?"

"Yes."

He searched my face then he looked into my eyes.

"Nick said you seemed upset."

"No, I just need some aspirin."

I walked past him looking down feeing his eyes on me. He got home late shutting the door looking around for me.

"Sara?" He called

He walked into the living room seeing I was lying under a blanket on the couch snoring softly. He smiled walking over leaning down kissing my head. As he moved away I grabbed his arm.

"Whose there?" I asked

"Me."

"Me who?"

"Grissom."

I opened my eyes looking up at him.

"Who?"

He chuckled sitting on the couch.

"Honey, why are you on the couch?"

"This is where I landed."

He touched my head as I unwrapped myself touching his leg.

"We both have had some rough times." He said

"I know."

"How can we go back to the way things were?" He asked

I sat up moving close to him.

"We could pretend that nothing bad is going on behind that front door."

"We could." He said

I kissed him pulling him closer. I moved back touching his cheek. He sighed looking at my lips then at my eyes.

"I think we should go to bed."

"I am really hungry." I said

"Do you want take out or I can make something."

"Take out."

He nodded moving getting his phone. I watched him order something then he went to the desk looking at the mail. We ate then went to bed. I heard Grissom's phone ringing an hour later. He didn't move at first then as it rang again he moved getting it seeing the name.

"What?" He said, annoyed.

I stayed still listening.

"All right, I will be there."

He hung up sighing as he laid on his back. He got up quietly moving around the dark room. I moved seeing him faintly moving around silently. I knew he had to go to a scene. He dressed walking over to the bed looking at me then he walked out. I woke later winching at the light coming from the window. Grissom was still missing. I got up walking out to turn on the coffee maker. A few missing calls on my cell phone peaked my interest. I jumped as it rang again in my hand.

"Grissom." I said

"Where have you been?!" Catherine shouted

I knew something was wrong by her tone.

"I was sleeping, what's wrong?"

She sighed as I waited.

"Grissom is in the hospital that's what's wrong!"

"What do you mean?!" I said

"He went to the scene and shots were fired. He was hit in the chest."

I gasped almost dropping the phone.

"Sara?"

"I….I'm here." I said, shaking.

"I'll pick you up in a few minutes."

She hung up and I just stood there. When she came into the front door I was freaking out trying to get things organized. She grabbed me taking me to the car looking scared and unsure. I could hear her talking to me, but I could not answer. We got to the hospital meeting with the doctor. He used the words like lost a lot of blood and it wasn't looking good. When he left I burst into tears almost collapsing if Catherine had not been there to hold me.

Brass came in seeing me sitting in a chair in the corner of the waiting room looking down as Catherine walked over to him.

"How's she doing?"

"Not good." Catherine said, looking back at me. "The doctor said he was not doing well."

Brass looked at her nodding. The doctor walked out looking for me. Catherine saw him then she walked over making me stand walking over to him.

"Doctor, this is Captain Jim Brass." Catherine said

The doctor shook his hand then he faced me.

"We managed to stop the bleeding, now we have to wait and see. He is on a ventilator for now." He said

I turned walking back to my chair sitting down. They watched me sit then the doctor faced them.

"Captain Brass, I understand you and Mr. Grissom are friends."

"Yes, a long time now." Brass said

"He put you down as his second person that would step in and decide what to do should he be incapacitated."

"Oh."

"If Mrs. Grissom cannot decide what to do then I would like you to decide for her."

"Okay."

Catherine took me to her place to rest. I spent my time crying in the spare bedroom then I slept for hours. The door opened as Catherine came in holding her phone. She touched my arm then my head.

"Sara?"

"Hmm?" I mumbled

"I got a call from Brass. He said the hospital called him."

I moved opening my eyes looking at her.

"Grissom!"

"They…said that he is crashing and they want you to come."

I looked at her not understanding anything. She helped me get to the hospital where Brass was waiting. They pushed me down a hallway to a room where Grissom was. I slowly walked over looking at all the wires hooked to him. The heart monitor beeped very slowly as he breathed with the ventilator. I slowly touched his hand feeling it was cool to touch. The doctor came in standing on the other side with Brass.

"Mrs. Grissom, it is time to decide whether to turn off the life support or not." He said

I looked at him shaking then at Brass.

"No, he's alive!" I said

Brass walked over putting his arm around me.

"Doctor could you give us some time?"

"Of course." He said, leaving.

Brass looked at Grissom then at me.

"Sara, what do you think Grissom would say?"

"He's my husband!"

I looked at Brass turning to put my head on his chest. He held me as I cried. Brass went to tell the doctor to turn it off as I stayed behind touching his hand. I leaned over kissing his head smoothing my warm cheek across this cool head. The doctor and Brass came in.

As I moved back I whispered I love you and the heart monitor started beeping faster. The doctor walked over looking confused as he stared at the machine.

"What is happening?" Brass asked

I stood back looking scared as the doctor yelled for a nurse. A woman ran in as the doctor gave her orders. We were rushed out of the room as they worked. Brass sat with me outside in the hallway as the doors opened and the doctor came out scratching his head. Brass stood as the man before them sighed.

"I don't know how this happened, but Mr. Grissom is back with us."

I stood looking at him feeling Brass squeeze my hand.

"You mean…..he's alive?" I asked

"Very. He just opened his eyes looking around." He said "We are going to take out the ventilator and then you can come in and see him."

He left us stunned sitting down again. Once we were allowed in Brass pushed me in alone. I ran over seeing him open his eyes looking at me. He moved his hand touching mine.

Four weeks later he was home with me. I sat with him on the couch after putting a blanket over him. He looked at me seeing how pale and tired I was.

"Sara, I do appreciate your taking care of me, but you need to take care of yourself."

I looked down feeling his hand touch mine. I smoothed my fingers over his warm hand.

"Promise me that you will take care of yourself." He said

I looked at him nodding.

"I promise."

He came back to work two weeks later anxious to get back into the swing of things. He opened the door to his desk seeing a huge pile of papers waiting for him. He sighed walking over looking at it when Catherine came in.

"I was told you were coming back." She said, running over hugging him. "It's good to see you."

"I see you all have been busy." He said, motioning to the pile of paper.

"We wanted to say welcome home." She said, smiling. "How are you doing?"

"Good, the doctor said I am in great shape." He said, sitting in his chair. "I am very lucky to be here."

"How is Sara?"

He rubbed his head shaking it.

"You know Sara."

"Yeah, I do."

"This has really taken a toll on her. I don't think she has slept once the first week I was home."

"Give her time. She was really scared for you. That can be very overwhelming when you're told you have to make a decision to pull the plug on someone you love."

Grissom sat there thinking about how lucky he was as Catherine looked at him.

"Hey." She said, causing him to look at her. "Time to hand out assignments."

"I'll be right there." He said, getting out his phone.

I sat on the couch easing my throbbing head as the others chatted about this and that. Catherine came in with the assignments.

"Is Grissom here?" Nick asked

"Yes, he'll be here soon." She said "Now, Nick I want you to go to Prospect Street."

Nick walked over taking the paper.

"A robbery, one dead." He said

"Warrick I want you to go to the Clairmont Hotel. A guest was found dead in room."

Warrick grabbed the paper from her walking out of the room.

"Greg, you and I will work this one together and Sara….."

"Will be with me tonight." Grissom said, as he came in.

"Grissom, you're here!" Greg said

"Nice to see you to Greg." He said, calmly.

"Get your stuff." Catherine said

"Right." Greg said, leaving.

I looked over at him as he looked at me then at Catherine.

"I am going to take a side trip. If you need me just phone." He whispered.

"You got it." She said, before leaving.

"Ready?" He asked, looking at me.

I stood walking over.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

I sighed as he took my arm pulling me out of the room. We got into the car and he drove onto the road. I looked at him then at the road. He turned into a parking lot and parked in front. I looked at the restaurant we were in front of then I looked at him.

"Grissom, we can't eat here!"

"Why not?"

"Because it cost's a million dollars to eat!"

"Come on." He said, getting out. I got out looking at him watching him motion me over.

"What are you doing?"

"You'll see." He said, leading me in. The smell of food made my mouth water. I looked around at the people in suit and dresses dining at tables. A man in a black suit walked over smiling at us.

"I called earlier the name is Grissom."

The man looked down seeing the name.

"Ah yes, please come with me." He said, taking two menus before leading us through. He stopped at a quiet corner booth allowing us to sit. "Tonight's special is lobster. Your waiter will be right with you."

"Thank you." Grissom said

I looked at him as he looked at his menu. I picked mine up looking at the menu when I saw the prices for each item.

"Grissom, we can't afford this." I said

"Trust me." He said "Order anything you want."

"But….I."

He looked at me.

"It's okay, Sara."

The waiter came over smiling at us.

"I am Brian and I will be your waiter this evening."

"Hello Brian, could you give us some of your best Champagne, please?"

"I will be right back."

I set my menu down having palpitations as Grissom looked at me putting his menu down.

"I think I might have the lobster." He said "What are you going to have?"

"I don't know…..I can't think." I said

Brian came back over popping the cork off the champagne pouring us two glasses then he put the bottle in an ice bucket on the table.

"I was told that your bill is on us tonight so you may get anything you want." Brian said

"I think I want to lobster." Grissom said

"Excellent choice, and for you Mrs. Grissom?"

I looked at him then at Grissom.

"Ah…..I guess I will have the French onion soup and the Caesar salad."

He smiled and walked away.

"How did you get this for free?" I asked, watching him drink some champagne.

"This is good." He said "I know the owner from a case. I helped get his daughter off a murder charge and he told me that I could eat at his place for free sometime. I called him and he said great."

"You're amazing." I said

He smiled pulling me closer.

"You're amazing." He said, kissing my head.

I laid my head on his chest. Brian brought a cutting board with different breads on it.

"Can I interest you in some bread?"

Grissom and I looked at the different breads.

"Give us the stuffed cheese bread."

Brian set out plates and put four on the plate for us then he walked away.

"I want you to eat." Grissom said, handing me a piece of bread.

I took a bite sitting back looking at him as he took a bite.

"I hate to say this, but everything expensive taste better." I said

"I wish we could eat here all the time."

"We do all right." I said, eating some more.

Our food arrived shortly after the bread. Grissom looked down at his lobster and the small cup of butter sauce. I ate some of my hot onion soup trying to get through the hot cheese stretching between the bowl and the spoon. Grissom put some lobster on a fork bringing it over to me.

"Have some?"

"No." I said

"Have some." He said

I smiled looking at the piece of lobster on his fork then I opened my mouth taking it off his fork.

"Good?" He asked

I nodded looking down at my food.

"I can't believe I did that." I said

"I am proud of you." He said, dipping a spoon into my soup to taste it. "That is terrific."

"I know."

At the end we sat back putting our hands over our stomach's not wanting another thing. Brian came back taking the plates then he reappeared with two large deserts on the house. I moaned looking at the fudge over the ice cream knowing I could not eat it. Grissom got his second strength eating his. I watched him hit each layer with no trouble at all. I tried to eat mine taking one bite and then I gave up. Grissom looked over at me then he put his spoon into mine eating some of it.

Grissom followed me out after thanking the owner and the staff. He took my arm leading me to the car. I groaned rubbing my stomach as he opened my side.

"I don't think I can work." I said

"You did eat a lot." He said

"I just want to lie down."

He shut my door getting in the other side.

"I think we both could use a walk."

"I can't move."

He started the car driving out into traffic. I closed my eyes feeling my food digest. We turned to the left and I opened my eyes seeing we were on a deserted road.

"Now where are we going?" I asked

He didn't answer as he looked ahead. I closed my eyes again feeling the car rock from time to time. Grissom stopped and shut the engine off.

"Time to get out again." He said, getting his flashlight out of the back seat. I groaned moving shutting the door seeing we were in the middle of know where.

"Where are we?"

"You'll see." He said, walking ahead. I sighed running up to him. He took my hand shining his light with his other. We must have walked half a mile when he stopped letting go of my hand walking over to the left. I sighed looking up at the millions of stars up in the sky.

"Time to climb." He called

"I thought you shouldn't climb for at least an hour after eating."

"That's the rule for swimming." He said, chuckling. "Come on."

I walked over seeing him hand me his flash light as he climbed up then he took the light placing it above him looking down at me.

"You'll love this, I promise."

"Where have I heard that before?" I said, climbing. He went higher checking on me then he went to the top helping me up.

"What do you think?" He said, looking around.

I stood on this rock at the top with Grissom holding me looking up feeling as though I could actually touch the stars.

"This is really amazing." I said

"It is." He said "This is one of my favorite spots."

"I see why." I said

"Ready to go down?"

"Yeah." I said, looking up one more time. Grissom slowly went down when his flashlight fell down to the ground below.

I came down hearing him struggling to find a grip since he could not see very well.

"Are you okay?" I asked

"I think so." He said, going down again. Rocks moved below and I heard Grissom cry out as he fell to the ground below.

"Grissom!" I screamed, trying to be quick about going down. I hit the bottom kneeling down to Grissom who coughed moving. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, just had air knocked out of me." He said, getting up with my help. I dusted him off shaking. He pulled me to stand looking at me. "It's okay."

"I suppose I am still jumpy from the hospital."

"I understand." He said

He pulled me to him and I laid my head on his shoulder.

"I want you to smile again like you used to." He said

"What if something happens again?"

"Sara, you can't think about that. You could go tomorrow or we both could. You just need to let that go and live your life."

I moved back looking at him. He kissed me slowly moving back looking at me.

"Can we go now?" I asked

"Yes." He said, letting me take his hand yanking him with me. We got in the car and I moved to his lap kissing him. The horn blew as I leaned against it making us both jump. He moved his chair back looking at me. "What are you doing?"

"Grissom, we are in the middle of nowhere and I am feeling turned on." I said

"Honey, we should wait to go home."

"I can't wait that long, besides I want us both to have smiles on our faces at work." I said, undoing his shirt.

He gave in and within an hour we were back on the road holding hands silently. He parked outside the lab smiling at me as I smiled back getting out. I walked with him to his office as he asked me to help with paperwork again. Catherine walked over seeing us.

"Glad to see your back." She said

Grissom looked at me smiling then he looked at Catherine.

"We just got in." He said

Catherine looked at us knowing something happened.

"Spare me the details. Gil, I need you to come with me to see Ecklie."

"Okay, stay here." He said

I nodded watching him go. He turned looking back at me seeing a smile grow on my face. He smiled then turned back walking.

Grissom returned seeing me sitting in his office chair with my feet up on his desk. I smiled at him as he walked over looking at me.

"So, what are we doing now?" I asked

"Paperwork for an hour then home." He said

"Paperwork?" I said, groaning.

"Yes."

He pulled me out of his seat then he sat down getting all the paperwork out. I sighed moving a chair in beside him sitting down.

We got home tired from our date and working an hour. Grissom got into bed as I walked around the room changing. He sighed closing his eyes then he looked over seeing that I was putting on one of his old tee shirts coming to bed. I slid in turning the light off laying down. He watched me move around stilling when I became comfortable. Closing his eyes he listened to the silence. I moved around again trying to find a comfortable spot. Grissom looked over at me finally turning on the light looking at me.

"Honey, what is wrong?"

"Nothing, I just can't get comfortable." I said

"Is there anything I can do?"

I laid on my back sighing as I looked up at the ceiling.

"I don't know."

"Would you like a massage?" He asked

"Maybe." I said, looking at him.

He got up as I moved to my stomach feeling him straddle my legs as his hands rubbed my back.

"That feels good." I said

"Ssh." He said, rubbing a tense muscle.

"Grissom, do you ever hate being married?"

He stopped the massage looking down at me.

"I think it is the smartest thing I ever did. Do you hate it?"

"No."

"That didn't sound truthful."

"I do love being married to you, but sometimes I just get antsy."

"I feel like that to, but it goes away quickly.

"What makes it go away?"

"Seeing you in the hallway at work. I realize that life would be empty like it was if I didn't have you."

"I'm still scared about losing you." I said

"Honey, we talked about this." He said, as he rubbed my neck.

"I know. I think of myself as a widow alone in this house looking at your pictures and it just makes me sad."

"I think we need to stop obsessing over this."

"Don't you think about it? What if I died?"

"Sara, I don't want to think about it."

"I do, this could good for us."

"Honey, sit up." He said, getting off me watching as I sat up looking at him. "There is a time to think about this, but now is not the time. I understand you're still afraid, but nothing is wrong. I am sitting next to you and the doctor said I was in good health."

I let him touch my cheek.

"If something happened and you died. I would not be able to function. You have grown into this beautiful woman and I am not ready to leave you. Now if something were to happen that is out of our control then one of us will deal with it, but until then can we not talk about?"

I slowly nodded looking down as he caressed my face.

A few weeks later Grissom and I parked outside of a hotel on the strip. Grissom got out getting his case as Brass walked over waving at me as I joined him and Grissom.

"Body found in a bathroom. Looks like he was in there for an hour in the one stall."

"Stabbed?" I asked

"Yes."

Grissom motioned me to go first. Gunshots rang out from somewhere as people screamed scurrying about. Grissom dropped his case pushing me against the Tahoe. Brass yelled at his men with his gun out looking around. I closed my eyes listening hoping we would not be hurt. A cop near us fell back in pain as a bullet hit him. Brass yelled again and they shot up as he and some of his men went across the street to the building where the person was shooting. I breathed in and out fast as the shots rang out again and again. They stopped all at once as people screamed again. I shook as Grissom pushed me closer against the car. Brass ran over with his radio calling clear to everyone. Grissom let me go looking around as I sniffed sliding down the Tahoe to the ground. Grissom knelt down putting his arm around me.

"It's okay." He said

"You two hurt?" Brass asked, walking over to me.

Grissom shook his head looking up at Brass. I stood walking away shaking as I grabbed my case going into the hotel to the scene. Grissom walked in seeing me standing by the bathroom door to the right. He walked over looking at me as I opened the door going in.

We worked the scene as if nothing had happened. Grissom walked over as I found the guy's wallet in the trash. He watched as I looked at the driver's license in my very shaky hand. I looked at Grissom as he gave me his I am worried about you look.

"He's….from California." I said

He nodded still giving me that look.

"I….think we are done here."

"I'll get my stuff." He said

I watched him go to his case in the stall then we walked out. Once in the car I sat back in the seat as he got in looking at me. He looked at my shaking hand on my lap reaching over he held it.

"Sara, it's okay." He said, calmly.

I watched him start the engine letting go of my hand to steer. He reached over touching my hand again rubbing some warmth in it. I looked outside feeling tears starting to come down my cheeks. Grissom looked at me then he looked at the road. I sniffed making him look over watching as I wiped my face. He parked outside of the lab getting out walking to my door opening it. I looked down as a tear dropped on my lap. Grissom pulled me out hugging me as I cried into his shoulder.

He put his hand on my head as he kissed my head. I lifted my head looking at him.

"Sorry." I said, wiping my eyes.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He said

I sniffed looking at his lips then I moved kissing his lips. He kissed me gently then moved back touching my cheek.

"Is there….anyway to work from a bubble?"

He smiled as I sighed.

"No."

"Grissom, I love you so much…..and I can't stop being paranoid about you being hurt." I said, crying again.

"I know you are, and I am worried about you." He said, pulling me to him. "If you don't stop this you could become sick."

I lifted my head looking at him.

"I do…feel sick."

"How about you go lay down on my couch and I will bring you some crackers."

"No, I can work." I said

"Please Sara."

"I'll get a drink then I will work." I said, letting him go to walk away. Nick walked into the break room seeing me sipping a ginger ale looking pale.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked

I nodded moving out of the way.

"I heard what happened." He said

"It was crazy." I said

"You sure you're all right?" He asked, looking at me.

"Yeah."

He watched me leave quietly. I went to work on the case without Grissom. He locked his office seeing me walking over still looking pale.

I followed him out to the car hearing a car backfire. I screamed pouncing Grissom to the ground. He fell as I fell on top of him holding him still. After a moment I realized it was just a car and I climbed off him watching him get up looking at me. He was going to say something, but instead he took my arm pulling me to the car. We got home and he opened the door allowing me in first. As I entered he pulled me back against the door touching my cheek as he kissed me deeply. I felt him move back a moment later still touching my cheek.

"Gris, I…."

He shook his head before kissing me again. I moaned against his soft lips. He moved back sighing.

"Now, I don't want another sentence to come out of your mouth."

"But…I really think we….."

"No Sara."

He pulled me with him to the bedroom closing the door. When I woke up he was gone. I sat up holding the sheet against my chest seeing him come in dressed for work smiling at me as he walked over sitting down in front of me.

"How did you sleep?" He asked

"Good."

He took my hand playing with my wedding ring.

"Sara, I made an appointment for you to see a counselor."

"You did what?" I asked

"Honey, you need to talk to someone about this."

I sighed looking down.

Grissom watched me walk into his office with the results of the one finger print we found. I gave him the paper silently standing in front of his desk. He looked at me then he looked at the paper.

"Did you check this twice?" He asked

"Yes."

"Good, call Brass have him find the suspect." He said, giving me back the paper.

I nodded walking to the door. Grissom cleared his throat loudly making me turn looking back at him.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" He asked

"I have my paper." I said

He smiled sitting back in his chair.

"That's not what I am talking about."

I sighed looking at him knowing what he wanted.

"I am going still talk to the counselor."

"That's good to hear, but that isn't what I am talking about either."

I looked at him confused then it became clear as he motioned me over. I walked over taking his hand feeling him pulling me down over his lap. He placed my paper down on the desk as he kissed my neck. I laid my head on his shoulder as he continued his exploration.

He stopped lifting his head as I lifted mine looking at him.

"Just so you know I love you just as much as you love me."

"I know." I said

"I am glad you're going to talk to someone."

"I'm not, but your right I have to get over this fear."

He nodded searching my face.

"I had better go." I said

"I'm not done with you yet." He said

"I have to call Brass." I said

"Not yet."

I smiled faintly watching him come closer kissing me. I put my arms around his neck hearing someone walk in. We moved looking over seeing Catherine standing by the desk with a file in her hand.

"You know there is a door to this room and if you close it then no one has to know that you two are making out in here." She said

"Back to work." I said, getting up with Grissom's help.

Grissom looked over at me then at Catherine who was looking at him perplexed.

"Don't say it." He said

"Here's the file you wanted." She said, giving him the file. He opened it on his desk noticing that she hadn't moved.

"Is there something else?"

"Are you the same man that once told me romantic relationships have no place in this building?"

"Sara and I are married."

"Why don't you admit you have changed?"

"I don't think I have."

"You have and I have to say it is like a breath of fresh air."

"Can we all get back to work?"

She smiled walking out the door leaving. He watched her leave before sitting back in his chair thinking.

Talking to someone was helping me and as the weeks progressed I was turning into my old self. I yawned after a long shift one night walking down the hallway seeing Sophia talking to Grissom in the hallway with Nick. Nick decided it was time to leave and he left the two of them as he walked out the front door. Sophia laughed as Grissom smiled at her. I walked over seeing her look over at me before saying goodbye leaving quickly. I eyed her then I looked at my husband who smiled putting his arm around my waist leading out the door.

I laid on our couch beside him looking at the movie playing on the TV. I could feel his hand gliding over my waist to my leg then back again.

"You're quiet tonight." He said

"I was just thinking what I would like to do to Sophia." I said

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes I want to hit her."

"Sara, you know I would never cheat on you."

"I know." I said, touching his hand on my waist. "I just want to hit her now and then."

He chuckled kissing my head. I closed my eyes sighing feeling his hand moving again to my stomach. He listened as I snored gently making him smile as he touched my hair looking down at me with love.


End file.
